Two surgeries later...

I know I'm lucky for a lot of reasons--my melanoma was caught early; the medical professionals I'm dealing with are excellent.  But I'm not feeling so perky--after my second surgery on Thursday.  The first surgery, on Aug. 28th, went fairly smoothly, and I was proud of myself for staying quieter during the week so the bandage on my face wouldn't fall off.  As with the surgery last year, the doctor did "purse string" stitches, which generally are temporary.  He did that in case the biopsy indicated that he hadn't gotten all the cancer.  But this time he said there was a chance he wouldn't redo the stitching, since he's already pulled up as much of my skin as he could.  My mouth was pulled slightly up at the left corner, but he said gravity would take care of that.  So I was hoping he might decide not the redo the stitches, so I wouldn't have a 2nd week of recovery.

He said he would call me if he got the biopsy results before my appointment on Sept. 4; he didn't call.  Nor did his office call to postpone the follow-up appointment like they did last year when the results weren't back in time.  I had passing thoughts that maybe he didn't get all the cancer, and that's why he didn't call in advance.

The assistant asked if the doctor had called me with the results; I said no.  Further unease.  And when he walked in, I forget how he started, but I could tell he was working up to the bad news.  Which was that there was more cancer and he'd have to do more surgery.  My main thought was, what if he doesn't get it all this time?  The left cheek area of my face is quite splotchy; it's hard to know what is and isn't cancerous.

The second surgery has been tougher.  First, because the local anesthesia shots really hurt.  REALLY hurt.  I think it's partly because at least one shot was near my lip, which may be more sensitive, and perhaps because some shots were going into skin that hadn't yet healed from the first surgery.  And second, because my face still hurts and itches 3 days later.  Seems like facial muscles are affected--I tried to play my flute, and couldn't get a sound.  And had a great amount of pain in the middle of my left cheek.  And this bandage is much larger, and closer to my mouth, so it's much more difficult to eat.  After the first surgery (and the one last year), drinking milkshakes and frappuccinos worked well for the first few days, so I didn't have to chew.  But this time, sucking through a straw hurt quite a bit--through the same mid-cheek area that hurts when I try to play the flute.

I did take a walk today--the assistant told me that was the most I should do for exercise for a week.  I told him I had ridden my exercise bike last week (while recovering from the first surgery); he said it wasn't a good idea to do anything that would raise my heart rate.  I may still ride the bike in a few days, but not pedal very hard, just to get some quad work in.   I'm also lifting weights and doing some yoga.  It's hard to spend 2 weeks without exercise.

This time, he did use the double stitching, in the hopes that the margins would be clean this time.  I'm not sure I could go through this a third time.  At least not a third time in 3 weeks.