The Year of Positive Thinking

I've struggled with this my whole life.  From an early age, it seems, the thoughts in my head were negative.  I wish I had learned about cognitive behavior therapy, and the fact that you can train your brain toward positive.  But I didn't learn of that until many years later--in the past 15 years.  Even though I did have therapy when I was in my mid-20s, I don't remember the focus on thought patterns.

I remember my sister saying to me, "why do you always have to be so negative;" probably when I was a teenager.  I used to tell myself that assuming things would not go well was a way of protecting me--so that if things didn't go well, I wouldn't be disappointed.  But I didn't realize that negative thinking can influence outcomes--that is, influence behavior related to outcomes.

I've noticed since I stopped working full time that my mind is freer to think.  But the trend has started to be that it retrieves negative incidents from my past.  For now when I notice that, I start repeating "be positive" over and over.  As much to block out the negative as to try to replace the negative with positive.

I know people are wired differently; some people are like me, with the wiring tilting toward negative.  I've decided to make a concerted effort this year to keep my thoughts positive.  The start is to notice the negative and redirect.  This week hasn't been easy, because I've been sick with the flu (despite getting a flu shot) and feel low as a result.

The tricky thing about positive thinking is, I think it has to focus on keeping a positive outlook, but recognizing you can't control all outcomes.  Especially outcomes involving others.  For example, a recent magazine article (Real Simple) suggests visualizing yourself 10 years from now, with positive images.  How do you be positive while still being realistic?  I'm not going to visualize myself living in a mansion, for example.  But it gets harder when visualizing how things will be for my son 10 years from now.  I know what I want for him--so I'll visualize those.  And of course, I hear a voice saying, "but what if they don't happen?"  And there's the rub.