Searching the Internet can be helpful, but you have to know when to stop. Because if you keep searching, you will find information and advice that contradicts everything you researched previously. So it is with advice on cooking a turkey. And I had already narrowed it down to: roast in an oven, no brining. Brining probably is good, but I'm supposed to be on a low-sodium diet, and brine would infuse the turkey with a salty solution--that's what brine is. And I'm not going to deep-fry; I don't deep-fry anything.
I searched recipes on a couple of sites (allrecipes.com and delish.com) and found one on allrecipes.com that got a high rating. It called for pouring turkey broth in the bottom of the pan and basting the turkey ever 1/2 hour. I started having second thoughts after I found out I was supposed to take it easy after yesterday's surgery. And when I googled "should I baste or not," the sources seemed to agree that basting does nothing for the turkey meat, only the skin. And opening the oven door every 1/2 hour wreaks havoc on the roasting, they said. So scratch that recipe. This was yesterday, so I had to find an alternative recipe quickly.
The next area with a range of opinions is: "at what temperature should I roast the turkey". Some sources say 350 degrees; some say 325. The recipe that came with my locally-bred turkey calls for roasting it at 400 for the first 1/2 hour, then 350 for 2 hours, then 225 for the last 1 1/2 hours. Too complicated, I thought. And those times are for a 15-lb turkey; mine is 11 pounds. And I never know how long anything will cook in my oven--it seems to cook fast. So if you're off with the times, the turkey will be overcooked. So I'm going with 325 the whole time. I'm tenting, and hopefully will make a good decision on when to take off the aluminum.
I don't hesitate about the debate over whether to stuff the turkey or not--I stuff. The stuffing doesn't taste nearly as good if you bake it outside the turkey. People are too finicky about bacteria, anyway. You need some germs to build up your resistance.
I went with very basic stuffing--bread, onions, celery, sage and pepper. One year I tried chestnut stuffing, and I tore up my fingers trying to work with the chestnuts. Back to simplicity--similar to the stuffing my Mom made. It's one of the dishes she made that I really liked.
I have no idea whether this turkey will be any good. But once I got it in the oven, all I have to worry about is whether it will cook faster than it's supposed to and throw off the rest of the schedule (mashed potatoes and green bean casserole).
Thursday, November 28, 2013
Wednesday, November 27, 2013
Pin Cushion
I went to the dermatologist today to have the remainder of my precancerous mole removed. I assumed she would freeze the area and take whatever she didn't get when took a sample for the biopsy. I didn't think anything of the fact that they had me lie down; I figured it made it easier for her to zap the area (left chest area). I realize now the assistant said the doctor would do surgery, but it didn't register--that's what they do at the surgery center I went to; I didn't think my dermatologist did that kind of surgery.
The first steps were the same as with freezing--clean with alcohol, and then inject a local anesthesia (or whatever they use). But in the course of the procedure, I could feel tugging--I realized she was sewing stitches. So I mentioned she was doing more than I expected--she said the mole went beneath the skin, which is why she did surgery. I now have two layers of stitches--one internal, one external--just like I did for the surgery on my face. (She mentioned that she "doesn't do faces"--so it's not that she doesn't do surgery.) And I'm supposed to take it easy for 48 hours. Which seems to mean no heavy lifting--but they did say I should get help with the Thanksgiving cooking. I figure I'll get the guys to do the mashed potatoes; the turkey's too complicated to explain--I'm still trying to figure out which tips to follow.
The external stitches don't dissolve; I have to go back in next Wed. to have them removed. The internal stitches dissolve. In the meantime, I have to clean the would every day and keep it covered. So now I have my second set of stitches in 3 months. I'm starting to feel like a pin cushion.
The first steps were the same as with freezing--clean with alcohol, and then inject a local anesthesia (or whatever they use). But in the course of the procedure, I could feel tugging--I realized she was sewing stitches. So I mentioned she was doing more than I expected--she said the mole went beneath the skin, which is why she did surgery. I now have two layers of stitches--one internal, one external--just like I did for the surgery on my face. (She mentioned that she "doesn't do faces"--so it's not that she doesn't do surgery.) And I'm supposed to take it easy for 48 hours. Which seems to mean no heavy lifting--but they did say I should get help with the Thanksgiving cooking. I figure I'll get the guys to do the mashed potatoes; the turkey's too complicated to explain--I'm still trying to figure out which tips to follow.
The external stitches don't dissolve; I have to go back in next Wed. to have them removed. The internal stitches dissolve. In the meantime, I have to clean the would every day and keep it covered. So now I have my second set of stitches in 3 months. I'm starting to feel like a pin cushion.
Friday, November 22, 2013
That Day
I was on patrol. It was a big deal in our school to be a patrol girl. For one thing, you got to leave school early--at least 15 minutes early; I don't remember exactly how much earlier. As a group of us were leaving the building, we noticed that American flag out front was at half mast. We figured someone really important must have died, for them to lower the flag. The principal? No, maybe the superintendent. Maybe even the governor?
I took my spot near the curb, near one of the exits where the kids would soon come streaming out. Across the street were homes; many kids would be walking into the neighborhood; I was there to help make sure they safely crossed the street.
Everyone who came out that day said something similar--the President's been shot; President Kennedy's been assassinated. I didn't believe any of them--not one of them. You know how rumors can get started in grade school--soon everyone's saying the same thing. And these were young kids, what do they know, anyway? Lincoln was assassinated; modern people don't get assassinated. OK, I knew there were two other presidents who'd been assassinated, but who were they, anyway. We all knew Lincoln. (Why are some people "assassinated", while others are "killed", I would ask my mother later that day.)
One of the kids from my sixth grade class walked by, and also told me the President had been shot. I told him I didn't believe him. He lived across the street from the school, and his mother was standing in the front yard, within yelling distance. He called over to her to ask if it was true that the President had been shot; that he was dead. She nodded yes. So then I knew. An adult had said so.
Five years later, I was waking up and heard something on the radio about Bobby Kennedy and a brain injury. I immediately thought--I'll bet he's been shot. No hesitation, no disbelief. Yes, I was five years older, but I also reflected later how much had changed in those five years that made it so easy for me to believe another Kennedy had been shot.
We lost a great deal that day in November.
I took my spot near the curb, near one of the exits where the kids would soon come streaming out. Across the street were homes; many kids would be walking into the neighborhood; I was there to help make sure they safely crossed the street.
Everyone who came out that day said something similar--the President's been shot; President Kennedy's been assassinated. I didn't believe any of them--not one of them. You know how rumors can get started in grade school--soon everyone's saying the same thing. And these were young kids, what do they know, anyway? Lincoln was assassinated; modern people don't get assassinated. OK, I knew there were two other presidents who'd been assassinated, but who were they, anyway. We all knew Lincoln. (Why are some people "assassinated", while others are "killed", I would ask my mother later that day.)
One of the kids from my sixth grade class walked by, and also told me the President had been shot. I told him I didn't believe him. He lived across the street from the school, and his mother was standing in the front yard, within yelling distance. He called over to her to ask if it was true that the President had been shot; that he was dead. She nodded yes. So then I knew. An adult had said so.
Five years later, I was waking up and heard something on the radio about Bobby Kennedy and a brain injury. I immediately thought--I'll bet he's been shot. No hesitation, no disbelief. Yes, I was five years older, but I also reflected later how much had changed in those five years that made it so easy for me to believe another Kennedy had been shot.
We lost a great deal that day in November.
Wednesday, November 20, 2013
Speed
I don't really know if I'll be able to play faster. I'm working on Andersen Eighteen Studies for the flute; the first three etudes went fine. I did one each week, and practiced enough so I could play them well at my lesson. But last week, when I played the fourth etude, my teacher said I should play it another week and play faster. I know she had played it at a tempo faster than I took it, but I was playing at the tempo I felt I could handle--that is, play it correctly.
I don't really know what the best strategy is for playing faster while maintaining accuracy. As soon as I speed up beyond my comfort (competency?) level, I start making mistakes. Playing fast badly doesn't seem like a good strategy--but I guess I have to go through that process if I want to get to the next level of competency.
This week I set the metronome at quarter note=138, and tried to keep playing through the mistakes. I found that my right fingers, especially R3 (right ring finger), were having trouble keeping up. And I was feeling considerable pain in my right hand--around R2 as well as my thumb. To help with the right hand fingering, I placed cotton-filled plastic cream holders in between each finger to stabilize them; that helped a bit. But I'm not there yet--I can't play at that tempo without making mistakes. There's one fairly large segment (the middle) where I especially have problems; I practiced those 14 measures more often, but it's not as simple as just fixing certain passages. It's also the cumulative effect of trying to play 64 measures, all eighth notes, at an allegro animato tempo without making a mistake.
I really don't know whether my fingers are up to it. And I don't know if I'm being a pessimist/defeatist or a realist in saying so.
I don't really know what the best strategy is for playing faster while maintaining accuracy. As soon as I speed up beyond my comfort (competency?) level, I start making mistakes. Playing fast badly doesn't seem like a good strategy--but I guess I have to go through that process if I want to get to the next level of competency.
This week I set the metronome at quarter note=138, and tried to keep playing through the mistakes. I found that my right fingers, especially R3 (right ring finger), were having trouble keeping up. And I was feeling considerable pain in my right hand--around R2 as well as my thumb. To help with the right hand fingering, I placed cotton-filled plastic cream holders in between each finger to stabilize them; that helped a bit. But I'm not there yet--I can't play at that tempo without making mistakes. There's one fairly large segment (the middle) where I especially have problems; I practiced those 14 measures more often, but it's not as simple as just fixing certain passages. It's also the cumulative effect of trying to play 64 measures, all eighth notes, at an allegro animato tempo without making a mistake.
I really don't know whether my fingers are up to it. And I don't know if I'm being a pessimist/defeatist or a realist in saying so.
Monday, November 11, 2013
Gravity
It's official--the Cica-Care strips don't stay on my face any better than the ScarAway strips did. In fact, I think Cica-Care is worse. After a few days the stickiness (is that the silicone?) seems to wear off. And the strip just slides off my face, even at night. One night I taped a Band Aid over it to keep it on. When I got up the next morning, the strip slipped through the Band Aid and fell off. I think the Cica-Care is more susceptible to gravitational pull because it's thicker and heavier. I try to keep the strips on through breakfast, but invariably they come off and I lose track of them. One Cica-Care strip ended up under my cereal bowl and in the dishwasher before I found it; today a ScarAway strip fell off and I found it on the kitchen floor. I just have to resign myself to the fact that I'm not going to keep a strip on my face for 12 hours unless I sleep for 12 hours--and I'm not going to. The best I can hope for is 8 hours--a few in the evening and the rest overnight. Some days, when I'm home more, I may be able to wear the strip a few more hours during the day. The strip stays on better when I wear a rejuvenated one during the day (as opposed to trying to keep one on in the morning that's been on my face overnight). By rejuvenated, I mean one that's been washed and dried and laying in the ScarAway case. But I've already thrown out one Cica-Care strip--it had lost all its stickiness; you really couldn't tell the difference between the two sides. I'm not even sure how much good it does to cover a scar with a worn-out strip. And who knows how much good this is doing, compared to the counter factual--that some amount of healing would occur without the silicone strips. Time heals all wounds--to varying degrees. Who knows how long it will take, or to what degree the wound will heal.
Wednesday, November 6, 2013
CicaCare vs ScarAway
The verdict is in--CicaCare won't stay on my face, either. I woke up at some point last night to find the strip had slid and bunched up on my face. I pushed it back in place where it stayed until the morning. But CicaCare says if at all possible, wear the strip all the time. That just won't work. When I try to wear the ScarAway strip during the day, I get preoccupied with whether it's staying in place--and invariably it falls off and I have to hunt for it. I can't believe I have to mess with this for the next 2-4 months. That is if I want to have as small a scar as possible on my face.
It's too bad these products don't adhere well to the face--if there's any place where you'd want to minimize a scar, it's on the face. I have a surgical scar on the side of my left big toe that's still visible, but I don't really care. Not that much, anyway. I tried silicon strips there--very difficult for them to adhere, and I think I gave up. I don't plan to give up on my face. But I have to be realistic about how many hours a day I can have a strip on my face.
I don't know whether CicaCare holds up any better than ScarAway, since I just got the CicaCare from Amazon.com yesterday. The CicaCare instructions say a strip should last anywhere from 14-28 days (!). ScarAway says its strip will last about a week; in reality, they start adhering less well after one day.
The two products are physically quite different. ScarAway is very thin, and is light brown--looks like a fabric BandAid. CicaCare is about twice as thick, and is see-through. It's more squishy and gel-like, and hard to tell the difference between the two sides (sticky and non-sticky). Also, you supposedly can wash the CicaCare strip and reapply it right away; the ScarAway strip has to dry (which is why I have 3 different strips I'm using--two to trade off, and a third that's twice as wide as the other two. The wider one doesn't stay on any better than the narrower ones do).
CicaCare is quite a bit more expensive--one 5" x 6" sheet cost nearly $45 on Amazon; I bought the ScarAway for over $20 (I think) at CVS; the ScarAway box has 8 1.5" x 3" sheets. Based on the two sizes, I'm getting between three and four times as much silicone sheeting with ScarAway. So if CicaCare doesn't last as long as it says, it won't be worth the price. We'll see.
At least CicaCare acknowledges that the strip might not adhere. It suggests holding the strip on with " a lightly elastic conforming bandage or tape". I think that means the type of bandage that you can roll around something. That would have worked for my foot, but won't work for my face.
As I said, too bad it's so hard to apply silicone to the face, where the need to reduce scarring is great. I don't really know if ScarAway's scar serum is much of a substitute, but I'm using that when I'm not wearing a gel strip. At least two more months of this. Ugh.
It's too bad these products don't adhere well to the face--if there's any place where you'd want to minimize a scar, it's on the face. I have a surgical scar on the side of my left big toe that's still visible, but I don't really care. Not that much, anyway. I tried silicon strips there--very difficult for them to adhere, and I think I gave up. I don't plan to give up on my face. But I have to be realistic about how many hours a day I can have a strip on my face.
I don't know whether CicaCare holds up any better than ScarAway, since I just got the CicaCare from Amazon.com yesterday. The CicaCare instructions say a strip should last anywhere from 14-28 days (!). ScarAway says its strip will last about a week; in reality, they start adhering less well after one day.
The two products are physically quite different. ScarAway is very thin, and is light brown--looks like a fabric BandAid. CicaCare is about twice as thick, and is see-through. It's more squishy and gel-like, and hard to tell the difference between the two sides (sticky and non-sticky). Also, you supposedly can wash the CicaCare strip and reapply it right away; the ScarAway strip has to dry (which is why I have 3 different strips I'm using--two to trade off, and a third that's twice as wide as the other two. The wider one doesn't stay on any better than the narrower ones do).
CicaCare is quite a bit more expensive--one 5" x 6" sheet cost nearly $45 on Amazon; I bought the ScarAway for over $20 (I think) at CVS; the ScarAway box has 8 1.5" x 3" sheets. Based on the two sizes, I'm getting between three and four times as much silicone sheeting with ScarAway. So if CicaCare doesn't last as long as it says, it won't be worth the price. We'll see.
At least CicaCare acknowledges that the strip might not adhere. It suggests holding the strip on with " a lightly elastic conforming bandage or tape". I think that means the type of bandage that you can roll around something. That would have worked for my foot, but won't work for my face.
As I said, too bad it's so hard to apply silicone to the face, where the need to reduce scarring is great. I don't really know if ScarAway's scar serum is much of a substitute, but I'm using that when I'm not wearing a gel strip. At least two more months of this. Ugh.
Tuesday, November 5, 2013
New Word(s) for the Day: Dysplastic Nevi
I just got the news that both moles my dermatologist removed a week ago are precancerous--the official term is dysplastic nevus (plural is nevi). If you look at the National Cancer Institutes's website, these "atypical moles" generally don't turn into melanoma. It also says, "Normally, people do not need to have a dysplastic nevus or common mole removed". However, I'm guessing that once someone (like me) has had melanoma, they protocol is to remove the dysplastic nevi. Also, according to Wikipedia, there are different types of atypical moles, so the biopsy may have indicated that I have the type that's more likely to become melanoma. Anyway, my dermatologist is ensuring that the margins are clear. Her office said the entire root system was removed from the mole on my thigh, but not on my chest. So I have to go back in so she can remove the entire root system. It must not be significant surgery, since she's able to do it in her office.
I asked the office assistant what kind of cancer it could turn into--he just said it wasn't skin cancer yet. But looking at the National Cancer Institute and the Skin Cancer Foundation (Skincancer.org) websites, these atypical moles are associated only with melanoma. In fact, the Skin Cancer Foundation website says "dysplastic nevi are unusual benign moles that may resemble melanoma". Drat. More potential melanoma.
I could tell by the way they handled this call that something was up--it wasn't just going to be "everything's normal". But I wasn't as nervous this time as I was when I got the call about the blotch on my face being melanoma. Guess I'm getting used to hearing about cancer. Unfortunately.
I asked the office assistant what kind of cancer it could turn into--he just said it wasn't skin cancer yet. But looking at the National Cancer Institute and the Skin Cancer Foundation (Skincancer.org) websites, these atypical moles are associated only with melanoma. In fact, the Skin Cancer Foundation website says "dysplastic nevi are unusual benign moles that may resemble melanoma". Drat. More potential melanoma.
I could tell by the way they handled this call that something was up--it wasn't just going to be "everything's normal". But I wasn't as nervous this time as I was when I got the call about the blotch on my face being melanoma. Guess I'm getting used to hearing about cancer. Unfortunately.
Saturday, November 2, 2013
Twitching (down) Dog
During yoga class yesterday (participant, not instructor), some muscles on the left side of my face started twitching. Especially when I was doing inversions--Down Dog to be specific. My guess is the extra blood flow from having my head down. And the muscles around my left eye twitch occasionally. And also parts of the left side of my mouth. I assume these are related to my surgery, part of the healing process. I hope.
I'm up earlier than usual today (4am) because I woke up with a splitting headache. I took some Tylenol, but ended up getting up anyway. Not sure what the cause was--the Frownies? The scar sheet (I used a wider one last night)? The Afghan food I ate at dinner? The yoga inversions? All of the above?
The new, wider scar sheet I used last night stayed on the entire night--but the operative word may be "new". These ScarAway strips seem to work well only when they're new. So we'll see how things go tonight when I try th use the wider strip again.
I researched (OK, googled) scar sheet reviews and couldn't find anything other than Amazon.com user reviews. Many people have the same issue I do with ScarAway--the strips just don't stay on. One reviewer suggested using Cica Care sheets--more expensive, but hold up better, the reviewer said. So I've ordered a box of sheets and will test it out once it arrives. Which knowing Amazon will be sooner than they estimate. (Is Amazon an it or a they?)
Oh, and I found the wayward ScarAway strip the fell off the night before last--stuck to the back of my pajama tops.
I'm up earlier than usual today (4am) because I woke up with a splitting headache. I took some Tylenol, but ended up getting up anyway. Not sure what the cause was--the Frownies? The scar sheet (I used a wider one last night)? The Afghan food I ate at dinner? The yoga inversions? All of the above?
The new, wider scar sheet I used last night stayed on the entire night--but the operative word may be "new". These ScarAway strips seem to work well only when they're new. So we'll see how things go tonight when I try th use the wider strip again.
I researched (OK, googled) scar sheet reviews and couldn't find anything other than Amazon.com user reviews. Many people have the same issue I do with ScarAway--the strips just don't stay on. One reviewer suggested using Cica Care sheets--more expensive, but hold up better, the reviewer said. So I've ordered a box of sheets and will test it out once it arrives. Which knowing Amazon will be sooner than they estimate. (Is Amazon an it or a they?)
Oh, and I found the wayward ScarAway strip the fell off the night before last--stuck to the back of my pajama tops.
Friday, November 1, 2013
Not Exactly Seven Days
Gone, vanished, nowhere to be found. And that was the second time last night that my ScarAway strip fell off my face. 4am. I don't know what time it was when it fell off the first time. Interesting how losing the strip must have woken me up. Makes it hard to figure out how to wear the strip "at least 12 hours a day" when it won't even stay on at night. And since I'm somehow waking up after the strip falls off, it's interrupting my sleep. And sleep is good for a lot of reasons, including helping things heal.
I never did find the lost strip--must be stuck on the sheet somewhere, but I couldn't find it this morning. I had used a second strip during the day and evening, after I got back from teaching yoga, so I used that strip for the rest of the night (one hour, since I get up at 5am. I did fall back to sleep, luckily). Today I started with the silicone serum, and will switch to a scar strip this evening after my flute lesson. I like the little massage ball bearings on the serum applicator, so I also massaged my lower lip, where I have fairly pronounced lines, and also at my brow line, where the creases looked deeper because I forgot to wear a Frownie last night. (Too many things to remember--wound management for the two spots she removed; scar strip on the cheek; Frownie on the forehead...) I have no idea whether silicone does anything for "fine lines" but it's worth a try. Extends the amount of time it takes me to get ready in the morning, though. And as a result I totally forgot about a retiree breakfast get-together this morning. Too late to go now, since it's at least a 20 minute drive. And I have to be back for my 11am yoga class (participant, not teacher).
Not the first morning appointment I've totally forgotten about. I'm trying to train myself to look at my calendar first thing each morning, after I missed two other meetings, but I forgot. This is an issue with much less structured time--I'm fine with the routine appointments--my yoga teaching and flute lesson, and I work hard to remember doctors' appointments, since there's a cost to not going (both in terms of maybe having to pay for a missed appointment, but also in terms of how long it might take to get another appointment). So there's a theme here: if a meeting or appointment involves money (either me getting paid, or me paying) I'm much better at remembering than if it's a volunteer activity or social get-together. I'm sure that says something about my priorities.
Back to the scar: This is the first time I've posted a photo to my blog--here's me this morning (11/01/13) and how my scar looks. I don't know why I looked jaundiced--must be the lighting. But the scar looks redder "in person". But you can see the gash line near the corner of my lip--that's the area that's thick and red and raised. On the other hand, the lines on my face don't look as deep to me as they look in this photo. So I guess the world sees me differently than I do.
Here's how my scar looked in early September (09/11/1) about 2 1/2 weeks after the surgeon stitched me up (08/30/13):
I know, it looks worse now, but that could partly be the lighting. Almost looks like I had makeup on in the Sept. photo; I don't in the Nov. one. I'll take a photo every couple of weeks or so to see if I can document the progress.
Meanwhile I will Google to find out if there's another silicone scar product that gets better reviews than ScarAway...
I never did find the lost strip--must be stuck on the sheet somewhere, but I couldn't find it this morning. I had used a second strip during the day and evening, after I got back from teaching yoga, so I used that strip for the rest of the night (one hour, since I get up at 5am. I did fall back to sleep, luckily). Today I started with the silicone serum, and will switch to a scar strip this evening after my flute lesson. I like the little massage ball bearings on the serum applicator, so I also massaged my lower lip, where I have fairly pronounced lines, and also at my brow line, where the creases looked deeper because I forgot to wear a Frownie last night. (Too many things to remember--wound management for the two spots she removed; scar strip on the cheek; Frownie on the forehead...) I have no idea whether silicone does anything for "fine lines" but it's worth a try. Extends the amount of time it takes me to get ready in the morning, though. And as a result I totally forgot about a retiree breakfast get-together this morning. Too late to go now, since it's at least a 20 minute drive. And I have to be back for my 11am yoga class (participant, not teacher).
Not the first morning appointment I've totally forgotten about. I'm trying to train myself to look at my calendar first thing each morning, after I missed two other meetings, but I forgot. This is an issue with much less structured time--I'm fine with the routine appointments--my yoga teaching and flute lesson, and I work hard to remember doctors' appointments, since there's a cost to not going (both in terms of maybe having to pay for a missed appointment, but also in terms of how long it might take to get another appointment). So there's a theme here: if a meeting or appointment involves money (either me getting paid, or me paying) I'm much better at remembering than if it's a volunteer activity or social get-together. I'm sure that says something about my priorities.
Back to the scar: This is the first time I've posted a photo to my blog--here's me this morning (11/01/13) and how my scar looks. I don't know why I looked jaundiced--must be the lighting. But the scar looks redder "in person". But you can see the gash line near the corner of my lip--that's the area that's thick and red and raised. On the other hand, the lines on my face don't look as deep to me as they look in this photo. So I guess the world sees me differently than I do.
Here's how my scar looked in early September (09/11/1) about 2 1/2 weeks after the surgeon stitched me up (08/30/13):
I know, it looks worse now, but that could partly be the lighting. Almost looks like I had makeup on in the Sept. photo; I don't in the Nov. one. I'll take a photo every couple of weeks or so to see if I can document the progress.
Meanwhile I will Google to find out if there's another silicone scar product that gets better reviews than ScarAway...
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