Not working (for pay) is hard...

I had an opportunity to join a small non-profit organization--happened very quickly.  I had thought it would part time; thought that might tide me over until I'm able to make some money teaching yoga and/or doing voice acting work.  But the job would be full time, at pay that's pretty standard for nonprofits, which means not much.  I feel guilty not taking work with so many people out of a job, but I said I wouldn't go back to an office environment.  Especially full time.  And with much less flexibility than I had in my previous job.

But this event does show that I'm still grappling with my new life.  Right now I'm doing everything on a volunteer basis.  I'm still torn between wanting to leave my past work life behind and clinging to it as a possible way to earn some money.  I feel pulled in many directions, with many emotions.  Sometimes I'm comfortable volunteering and studying, other times I'm restless and want to be occupied with something outside the home--that pays.

So if I take the full time job, I'd be less able to teach or voice act, if something comes along.  Like I'd given up on my dream.  But it is scary.