Meditation for relaxation?

I went through the transcendental meditation program about 30 years ago. All I'm left with at this point is a mantra and the notion that I should meditate 20 minutes twice a day. But I've never been able to stick with it--when I was single the cat would bother me; with marriage, a child and fulltime work, I never found time where I wouldn't be disturbed. So now I'm trying again. Starting with 20 minutes once a day.

I've been at it for a few weeks--does anyone else have a hard time sitting still for 20 minutes? Or having one's mind calm down for 20 minutes? I seem to have more, disparate thoughts during those 20 minutes than at any other time. How to clear the gutter of snow and ice; what we need at the store; when will I need to walk the dog--you name it. The guidance is that when you notice that you have a thought, let go of it gently and return to the mantra. But it seems to take me a long time to notice that I'm thinking thoughts, and I'm only able to have the mantra (and only the mantra) for a few seconds at a time.

And then there's the posture--my lower back starts to hurt after a while (that seems to be getting better), and my legs get stiff, so I end up focusing on whether I can stay still or need to recross my legs and/or shift my posture. And I have yet to make it to 20 minutes without looking at the clock--my record was yesterday, when I first looked at the clock after 16 minutes. But then I looked at it every minute--didn't want to go past 20! Today I was back to looking at it when only 12 minutes had gone by.

So does meditation really reduce stress, like the studies say? Guess I'll see...

Do expensive creams work?

I was at Nordstrom's the other day--had to return something. I had planned to just get a credit, but succumbed to my shopaholic urges and bought an expensive eye lotion (Kinerase Extreme Lift). Kinerase products are very expensive, but I use the face creams--a dermatologist once recommended Kinerase as an anti-aging cream when my skin wouldn't tolerate retinol.

So is it worth spending $95 on eye lotion/serum? "Clinically proven to visibly reduce the appearance of crow's feet in 5 minutes...get visibly younger looking eyes without undergoing any procedures... " says the package. I'm trying an experiment--I'm putting the K-Lift around my left eye and drugstore-purchased Neutrogena Ageless Intensives Lifting Treatment around my right. I think the N-gena cost around $20. So far (one day) I don't see any difference. In fact, the left eye area loops droopier, but then it always does. One note in fairness to K-Lift: I needed to use only a tiny drop of K-Lift vs a strip of creamy lotion from the Neutrogena. So not sure what the per application price difference is. (K-Lift is .5 fl oz vs N-gena .43 fl oz.

Women in their 50s-buying clothes

I think I know why my most recent purchases/comparison shopping have been household items--a new etagiere for our entry way; bath towels; a slow cooker. A good deal of it is being home more and focusing on items I've thought about getting for some time. But another is the reduced lure of clothing shopping. Even when I had more money and wanted to buy clothes, I was having a harder and harder time finding places to shop that I felt were reliable in terms of styles for older women. And while my face definitely looks its age, I'm in good shape and don't need or want to buy "cover up" type clothing.

Take the most recent Nordstrom's catalogue, which came in yesterday's mail. The models are all very young--I've pretty much resigned myself to that reality--but the styles were by and large ones I wouldn't have worn when I was younger, let alone now. HUGELY high heels--I could never wear heels more than a couple inches high--they'd all break because I walk a lot. Very short dresses--I did wear those until I started working--then generally one does need to go with near-knee-length at a minimum if one's in a conservative office environment (lots of that still in the DC area). WHERE DO THESE WOMEN WORK? (For clothing catalogues, of course!) So retailers face a self-fulfilling prophecy--they say they don't target older people because they don't have as much disposable income as younger people do. But even those with some disposable incomes--and/or recovering shopaholics like me--have a hard time finding something to buy even when they want to, or when the succumb to a binge.

So now when I get the urge to shop, I'm more likely to go for a new household or garden toy, rather than clothing. My biggest downfalls used to be shoes and purses--especially purses. I've been in search of the perfect purse for several years now, and never seem to find it. One big enough to hold everything I want it to hold, but small enough to carry around without looking like a glorified bag lady. And compartmentalized so I can find everything right away. (HAH!--the biggest downfall of most bags large enough to fit more than a couple of bucks and a pen.)' So I have a closetful of mostly Coaches and Brahmins. But haven't bought a new purse in over a year--quite a record for me. I've looked, but even those styles have changed dramatically. Huge shiny bags with lots of hardware--how do you find anything in it, and don't you get tired of lugging it around after a while?

I have found my shoe store of preference--Comfort One Shoes, which has stylish shoes that also are comfortable and don't appear to disfigure the feet. Like I'm sure those high high heels and "mules" do. I'll bet Sarah Jessica Parker gets bunions if she doesn't already have them! Who knew that bunions were permanent bone disfigurations? I sure didn't--I thought they were like corns or some other temporary sore foot problem. Two surgeries later, my left foot looks normal, but the alteration has hindered my balance.

Several years ago I read an article in the Washington Post about how older women were flocking to a store called Chico's. A store opened up near my house, so I went for a look. I could picture Bea Arthur as Maude wearing them--an attractive, large older woman. Well, I'm small--not height but bone structure and weight--so those styles just don't suit me. I was told by the Chico's sales woman that I would be a size 0 in their store (more size deflation--I'm a 4 most places, and apparently would have been an 8 if I lived in the 1940s). And then she said they didn't carry many size 0s--not much demand. That's how I discovered Ann Taylor Loft--it was right next door and had lots of stuff that fit me. And it's quite reasonably priced. Since then ATL has been more hit-and-miss--it definitely skews young, but I can still sometimes find a nice sweater or skirt.

The store where I do most of my clothes shopping, when I do shop for clothes, is Talbot's. They sell lots of nice sweaters and jackets, and I discovered that if I go with petite size 4 I can find pants that fit and don't need to be hemmed. But I've only gone there recently with gift certificate in hand. These days I still get more excited about a slow cooker than I do a new sweater.

Comparison Shopping

Amazing how difficult it is to get in the habit of writing in a blog each day. Guess I'm struggling with the issue of self-discipline; I'm so used to having meetings and appointments to guide my day.

So now I've had about a month of newly-found flexibility (aka no paying job). I've already been through a serious "shopping phase"--where I spent hours (over days) researching household products I decided I needed to buy. I will need to monitor this activity, since I use shopping as a quick "upper". The irony of having more unstructured time with less money is that there are many ways to fill the time that cost money. Shopping being one of them.

I did learn a lot about Internet-based product research/comparison shopping in looking for two products: bath towels and a slow cooker. The search for new bath towels represented pent-up demand. I'd been dying for some time to replace the hideous-looking towels in our master bath (more about why they looked hideous in a moment). But I felt I needed to wait a decent amount of time. It's been either 3 or 4 years, and the towels were a pricey (but sale) purchase of Calvin Klein towels in a sage green shade. They replaced inexpensive, but very good, Wamsutta towels I got from Bed, Bath and Beyond--I used those for 5 years. So I felt guilty about replacing more expensive towels more quickly than I had before. But when I looked at the Calvin Klein towels, I couldn't believe I had bought such an ugly shade--a yellowish green color I call "puke". But worse was that the cleaners (yes, I have someone clean our house every 2 weeks), had spilled cleansers on the bath mat and other towels, so some of them now had discoloration splotches.

So I felt justified in buying a new set of towels due to the splotches, not realizing that the towels had also become discolored--I hadn't really picked out puke-colored towels! I realized this only after I was gathering them up to give to Goodwill (the ones that didn't have blotches on them) and realized that the bath mat still was a nice, moss-colored green shade. But I had washed the mat infrequently, so it had retained its original color.

The color fade/discoloration issue turned out to be the most-discussed issue among on-line towel afficionados and advice-seekers. And I learned how one bad review can torpedo a sale.

I decided the culprit in my case was Calvin Klein, so I vowed not to but any of those towels again--after all, the Wamsutta towels, which were striped, still looked good after 5 years. My first stop was back to Bed, Bath and Beyond for another Wamsutta purchase, but they had very little of that brand, and no complete set of the color I was looking for. (This time more of a bluish green than a sage green, hoping it wouldn't turn as pukey over time.)

So when my outing to BB&B didn't work out, I felt adrift--so many towels, so many options, potentially so much money. Because since I was at it, I figured I would also buy new bath rugs--the nice fluffy white ones I bought at BB&B were already looking dingy after just a few years.

Thus began my Internet search for the ''best towel". I just wasn't able to find any source that compared towels--I found articles on how to shop for towels, descriptions of the different kinds of cotton, and lots of ads--but no Consumer Reports-type brand comparisons. One article suggested that a key is to find the color you like, so I tried that approach. I saw a beautiful array of towels from Pottery Barn--not just a wide variety of colors, but groupings of colors in various shades. So I could buy towels in one shade and rugs in a related, but deeper shade. They were quite pricey--the bath towel alone was over $20--but on sale. It was January, after all, month of the white sale.

I've had good luck with Pottery Barn products, but I did want to see if they had any customer reports--which they didn't. But in researching bath towel reviews, I came across one from a woman who had purchased PB towels a few years ago, only to have them become discolored after the first wash. Even Calvin lasted longer than that. PB took the towels back, and, according to the woman, acknowledged that others had had the same problem.

It was only one review, from a few years ago. And who knows if these reviews are even legit? But it was enough to make me pause, given my experience with the Calvin Kleins. Maybe PB has fixed the problem, I thought. Then the more I read, the more it became apparent that towels and sheets in these new, interesting, vibrant colors are much more finicky than the old muted (and limited) colors. Some recommended washing them in vinegar the first time--the PB purchaser and others scoffed at this, saying that the manufacturer should have ensured that the towels were colorfast. Others commented that products such as Proactiv and detergents with bleach can fade/discolor towels.

So now maybe the culprit in my CK pukey towels' case was Tide (although I still blame Calvin in part). I couldn't find a description of the ingredients anywhere on the Tide box, but assumed that maybe it did contain bleach. Who knows? Then I researched best detergents for colors--a few people suggested Tide Total Care ("helps keeps clothes like new". Shouldn't plain old Tide do that?)

Armed with this information, I headed out to Tysons Corner Shopping Center. One can learn about towels in the Internet, but one must see the colors and feel them before making a final decision. But towels may be about the only product that never are the same even after one wash--amazing how much fluff comes off! Anyway, I hadn't bailed out on PB--I went there first, and thought the towels were beautiful. Lush, fluffy and vibrant. But I didn't see any sale stickers. So I asked the salesperson--she said the sale had ended the day before. No "but I'll give you the price..." So I left. They were just too expensive to buy full price--plus anyone who pays full price for towels is a fool, I figured.

Next stop Macy's. Their web site does post product reviews, which are very helpful. Their Charter Club brand got very good reviews, is less expensive than PB, and also on sale. I wasn't as impressed with the quality as I was with PB, and they didn't sell matching rugs. So I tried Bloomingdale's, which is where I bought CK. I also had looked at Bloomie's web site; I figured I could never afford their highest end towels, Hudson Park, but hoped I could find something nice on sale. Of course, Hudson Park had beautiful colors, but I resisted. I came across some Christy towels--a brand I had heard of but didn't know anything about--that also had very nice colors. But the towels ("Allure") turned out to be just as expensive as the Hudson Parks and PB--$25 for one bath towel! Since not much was on sale, I feared I had missed their big White Sale just as I had with PB. But I thought it couldn't hurt to ask if they might possibly be on sale--the towels were so beautiful. Turns out they were having a one-day white sale the next day during which time everything would be 40% off--but I could have the price that day since I was there. And if I opened a Bloomie's account, the purchase would be another 15% off for a total of 55% off!

I ended up getting a combination of Christy Allure towels (Silver Birch) with Hudson Park rugs (Sky)--the colors complement one another nicely. I have to say I felt euphoric walking out of Bloomie's. It was a shopaholic's dream--beautiful products at a great sale price. OK, so the euphoria faded, but it's probably hard to explain the feeling to someone who doesn't get a shopping rush.

A final note: So I came home still faced with the question as to how the towels will look after the first wash, let alone the 30th. Even though I read conflicting information about the value of washing first in vinegar, I figured it couldn't hurt--vinegar is like baking soda, good for everything. The advice was to wash a second time to get the vinegar smell out.

The towels didn't come with any special washing instructions, so I checked the Christy web site. (Christy is a towel company in England.) It did have some good advice--wish they would put the info on their towels. They said to avoid having the towels come in contact with bleach--either through detergent or cleaning products--or with cosmetics that contain benzoyl peroxide. Hence the references on the Internet seem to be correct. The Christy site also said to set the dryer on medium--I had been using the "towel" setting, which is high heat.

So I now have washed the first set of towels after 1 week of use (I always buy enough to trade off every other week). I bought Tide Total Care, and decided to use the wash setting for jeans and darks since the color is a deep blue/green. And I dried them on medium. All's well so far. Oh, and I plan to remove everything from the bathroom when the cleaners come-too much of a risk that they'll spill bleach on a new towel or rug.

I would have spent over $500 for the towels and rugs (4 bath, hand, wash; 1 tub sheet; 1 large rug, 3 smaller rugs). Instead, I spent less than $250! And I did this all on a Thursday morning--a luxury to shop during a workday, rather than an evening or weekend. Very much a luxury.